Diamond Thoughts

Flood Seige in Brisbane

2011-01-14T21:17:00.000-08:00

It’s Saturday morning 6:54 a.m., January 15th, 2011 and people in parts of the City of Brisbane, Australia are ever so slowly pulling on their “wellies”, trying to find gloves, grabbing the ubiquitous green garbage bags, all in preparation to dig into the rubble of probably this country’s worst natural disaster.

I’ve pulled together various bits of communications that happened throughout the week to show how in amongst the turmoil in Queensland, my dad kept in touch with me, my mom was in hospital, how new clients called and current clients kept appointments, how I had to cancel a class I was teaching, how an ex-husband’s birthday happened, and how friends and relatives all over the world wanted to know how I was being affected.

These short emails, text messages and Face Book shares highlight how a week can begin completely normally with heavy rains, and end with millions of peoples lives forever changed along with a 5 billion dollar price tag.

MONDAY
Monday, 10/01/11 10:04 a.m.Christmas is over and we’re all getting back into life. The rains though continue to put a damper on movement. It's only been sunny two days since New Years, which Queenslanders aren't used to. Feels more like Vancouver than Brisbane!

4:41 p.m.I am so glad you're there with mom as she comes out of the operating room. She sent a Skype message earlier today, but I was on with a client call so couldn't take it. I know all will be well but it gives me some solace knowing you're there with her. Give her a big hug for me when she comes out of the recovery room fog.

The rain keeps falling and it just won’t let up. We went to our local Woolworths to stock up on milk and a few vegetables, just in case roads get cut off because of the rain. I felt silly doing it, but apparently in 1974, when the last flood occurred it was 10 days before the shops could open again.

TUESDAY
Tuesday, 11/1/11 11:58 a.m.Your email regarding Wednesday night meditation class was forwarded to me yesterday. You would be most welcome to join us tomorrow - no worries that you missed last week.
It would be lovely to see you in Class!

11:59 a.m.Hey, where are you? Are you in Perth?
Flooding is getting bad in Brisbane - parts of West End are being evacuated. Brisbane River is rising. Bulimba is also being affected.

12:52Looks like the rain is cutting off highways in and out of Brisbane in all directions. Thoughts of seeing if Josh would like to help in the sand bagging effort if it’s needed somewhere in Brisbane.

1:06 p.m.
Give me, Oh God,
Deep thoughts
High dreams
Few words
Much silence
The narrow path
The wide outlook
The end in peace.
Amen
- Hazrat Inayat Khan

10:41 p.m.Been a tough day here in Brisbane. River waters rising hourly. Rain pelting down almost non-stop. The dam supplying the city is at 173% (???) capacity, and they have to let water out of the dam for fear it too will burst. Apparently the dam has two compartments, one that is 100% full the other at 73%. The worst is yet to come. We’re all bracing ourselves.

WEDNESDAY
Wednesday, 12/1/11 4:13 p.m.Nice to hear from you. Glad your’re home. All is well here. Going into Sowelu tonight to meditate – class is optional. This to hold the light and love for those suffering. Hugs.

We have closed Sowelu as the power is off and roads in to Paddington have closed. Please travel safe if you decide to still go. xxx

4:32 p.m.Thanks for that info. I was not made aware of the power cut or roads.

The power and roads only happened at 3 p.m. Chat soon. X

4:53 p.m.
Hello all! Well despite my best intentions to hold meditation tonight at Sowelu the power has been cut and roads shut as of 3 p.m. So if you were thinking of joining me there, stay home & enjoy your blessings. With all returning to “normal” Class will be on next Wednesday at 7. If ANYONE needs a hand or place to sleep please let me know. May all beings have happiness & its causes.

Thanks Angela. I have left Paddington and staying at my mums away from the river with my 2 kids. My partner is at our home with his mum who was evacuated from West End. Sending love to all those affected.

5:51 p.m.
We're safe, dry and not in ANY threat for the floods at all. Friends however haven't been as blessed. High tide yet to come, river keeps rising, so there's still more water. Again, there is no threat where we live, other than some road closures into town. City is under siege. No busses, 106 roads closed. The dam now is at 197% and now they tell us the capacity is actually 212%. I'll keep posting here.

6:43 p.m.
Dad, all is well here and there is no threat where we live.
160 roads are cut off now, hundreds of thousands are being evacuated, but we live out of town, miles from the river. Feeling quite helpless watching the news. Broadcasters have seen carp, snakes and even a shark swimming in the river waters. Tomorrow we're going to go in and see how we can help at the Evacuation centres. It is a crisis beyond imagination. The worst is yet to come. Tonight at 4 a.m. there is a king tide and the water will rise another meter. People have been sandbagging and preparing all day to get their possessions, pets and selves out. My work place had its power cut earlier today, but no flood damage. Keep us all in your thoughts and prayers. xxx

10:42 p.m.
The Katrina flood covered 233,000 sq/km, the Queensland floods, including Brisbane cover 1,000,000 sq/km. They’re closing the Gateway Bridge because a 300 meter cement chunk of the River Walkway has broken loose and is hurling down the river. There are fears that if it hits the bridge things could get nasty. Talk too about scuttling (blowing up) the Mogul Ferry because one of its guy ropes has torn away and if it breaks free it would be like a torpedo shooting down stream.

The siren sound over the radio that’s been blaring every fifteen minutes, all day has jangled my nerves. This “waaaaaah, waaaaah, if you need to contemplate leaving, then evacuate.” I’m also surprized that the army hasn’t been mobilized to help with the sandbagging and evacuation effort. Only 100 troops so far have been brought in.

Tomorrow we're going down to help out wherever we can. We've made a huge pile of clothes, towels, toiletries to donate and we’re glued to the TV and radio for moment to moment updates. Death toll at 7 people from the Toowoomba flash flood, missing persons 72.

10:54 p.m.
New toll-free number set up for those interested in volunteering or donating goods and services for the Queensland floods - 1800 994 100. Please copy and re-post so everyone knows about it and those who can help out. All over the News they’re asking for MONEY rather than Goods.

THURSDAY
13/1/11 12:12 p.m.
Woke up to find the River hadn't peaked as high as anticipated. 4.6 meters rather than the anticipated 5.2. The previous worst flood on record in 1974 peaked at 5.5 m. Today 11,500 homes completed devastated, 13,500 partially flooded, way more than in 1974. Ann Bligh, the premier commented that we are looking at Post War levels of destruction. Truly daunting. I’ve been very impressed with Bligh, she’s such a clear communicator and she hasn’t flinched at announcing any of the horrific information. She’s on TV every two hours giving regular updates. I’m feeling quite helpless but holding the light big time and doing lots of tong len practise. Death toll has risen to 12. Missing persons 61.

12:58 p.m.
We've not been personally affected by the waters but are definitely feeling the suffering people are going through. Four times the size of Katrina. Life will never be the same again. And I'm in the midst of preparing to return to Canada for two months. Surreal almost.

5:58 p.m.
Hi Angela. All is well at our place, no water. Could we have a meeting on Skype tomorrow? From what I have seen on TV Paddington is quite flooded, so could be a while before we can meet there again. Alternatively I could come to your place.

8:42 p.m.We could either Skype or you could come here. Let me know what works.

Cool, I will see you tomorrow.

FRIDAY
14/1/11 10:41 a.m.Yes I am taking on new clients.
I will give you a call early next week to get your background and what you're looking for.

I'm currently in Brisbane, Australia, and am dealing full on with the flooding that is happening here, so my mind is a bit preoccupied.

11:01 a.m.The river has receded, not entirely, but the imminent danger is over. The death toll has risen to 15. The clean up will commence in a few days. In a few of the 63 suburbs that were flooded people are slowly returning to their homes. It will be at least a week for others. And for some, they will never have a home to return to.

The Clinic where I work still has the power cut, as do 100,000 plus other homes/businesses.

3:56 p.m.It's been a tremendously stressful time this past week for all of us living in Queensland.

For some the floods will have possibly brought forward unresolved trauma or grief. For others the experiences, the images, the feelings may simply have unsettled you.

I would like to offer a FREE 45 minute counselling session on the phone, Skype or in-person (either in my office in Paddington or Cashmere) until the end of January. I would like to extend this offer to you or to a friend or family member as well. Just tell them that they need to reference this email.

Contact me to set up an appointment.

May the collective consciousness that has been awakened by the floods swiftly and gracefully be healed.

5:47 p.m.All is well in our world. The river is miles from where we live, but as you can imagine, we are still feeling the effects of the massive devastation. The water from a creek overflow came about 7 km from where we are.

Today I saw a client in my home instead of the clinic which kind of snapped me out of the shock zone I've been hovering in.

The entire week has been a kicker. My mom had surgery for the removal of a growth on her thyroid (Monday), the flood began in earnest Tuesday, my assistant let me know she would either have to stop working with me or I had to give her a substantial hourly raise (Wednesday) and the River peaked so by Thursday I was maxed out.

Amazingly, I'm doing well despite all the above. And I hope this email wasn't a downer.

I return to Vancouver February 28th. I am looking very forward to being back in the city for a while. With the amount of damage and the length of time it may take to put this city back to functioning, we may well return to live in Canada a few years earlier than planned.

6:00 p.m.Thanks for your email. It sounds like you're having a fabulous time in Arizona.

I am haunted by the final lines in my last email to you... that the flooding hadn't touched Brisbane. By now you will have seen the images and know that the city has been decimated. It's so unbelievable and shocking all at the same time.

All is well for us but as you can imagine, we are still feeling it. The water from a creek at Gympie Rd overflow came about 7 km from where we are. Our local train station Bray Park was flooded.

Sowelu had its power cut for 3 days - and I have yet to go back to see if there was any flood damage. It’s on that hill, so I doubt water came in. Rosalee, one suburb over from Paddington was completely totalled. Water up to peoples’ chests. The McDonalds in Milton had water up to its roof! And Suncorp stadium - did you see the pictures of that?

Apparently a fight broke out at the Woolies in Paddington because they were running so short of food and there was a queue of 50 people. They were letting them in by twos and threes just like at a night club.

It's been a phenomenal week. The extent of damage to the State is that 70% of it was under water. Katrina covered 233,000 sq/km, this one covers 1,000,000 sq/km. Much, much bigger than the combined area of France and Germany. Its the stories and the images that are playing on me. And the incredulousness that this is happening here, in Brisbane, not over there in New Orleans or Brazil.

Not until this morning did we hear ANY outside news about Sri Lanka or Brazil. All the news on TV and radio was completely to do with evacuation procedures, what to take with you, what to do with pets, where to go, not to go into the water etc., then how high the river was rising, the amount of rain expected to fall etc. Then about the other cities and towns that were being pummelled by the water.

On behalf of all Queenslanders doubly enjoy where you are. When you return everything will have changed. Not one person’s life will not have been affected in some way.

SATURDAY
15 January 2011 5:29 a.m.Hi Angela, Thank you for what you are doing. I lost everything in the flood and was not covered by insurance. I am getting lots of support. Dean Marlin

If you would like to donate to the Queensland recovery, contact

http://telethon.smartservice.qld.gov.au/

Tasmania Meditation Retreat

2011-01-03T03:02:00.000-08:00

So I've been out of retreat for almost ten days now, but I'm still feeling the positive effects. I initially flew from Brisbane to a place called Launceston in Tasmania, where I was picked up and driven to Lovinna Valley, along a long and winding road to Dorje Ling Retreat Centre. Every mile we drove, we ventured deeper and deeper into the forest, into the embracing, spirit filled landscape of that most wonderful and enchanting place called Tasmania.

Before the retreat began, we went to a place called Cradle Mountain at the bottom of which is Dove Lake. Here are some photos from there.

Then we went back to the Retreat Centre and began the three days of initiations and and then retreat in this Yurt, or Ger as the Mongolians call them.

Video on Alcoholism - Three Pronged Disease

2010-12-06T20:35:00.000-08:00

The Miracle of Ten Good Things - by Angela Treat Lyon

2010-12-01T23:31:00.000-08:00

I received this in my email the other day, when the Americans were celebrating Thanksgiving. It deeply touched me and thought it might resonate with you. Let me know.

Last week as I was working with a client who's gone
through more challenge than anyone I have ever met,
we were clearing the energy from an incident he was
particularly stuck on. I asked him to list ten things that
were good about it.

He exploded, asking me how I could be so cruel as to
think there was even one good thing.

I waited. There was a long silence as he cooled off
and began to contemplate. Finally, sounding very
surprised, he said, "Well, I'm a stronger person
because of it."

He added a couple more, and went silent again.

I continued to wait. Silence is like a magnet when you
want someone to spill deep information. Most of us
are so used to continual blather, but when we're given
the space to consider , we can jump right in and really
mine the depths of ourselves. The rewards of a
conscious silence are huge. He did jump in and found
amazing treasures.

So today, I'm taking time to feel grateful for all the stuff
I thought of in my life as mean, ugly, unfair,
unwarranted and impossible to deal with.

I thank my brothers who I thought were so cruel by
calling me fat and telling me my ears stuck out and
that I was 'just a girl' so I'd never account for much.
Because of them, I am acutely conscious of the
miracle of this body, how I'd never be here without it,
and how incredibly strong, vibrant and alive it is.

I thank my father for thinking of me as contrary all the
way up until the year before he died. We had met for
lunch and were in the middle of a huge, finger-
pointing argument, and suddenly as I turned to stick
him with another barb, he was no longer the big man
who wanted power over me. He was just my father,
who adored his only daughter, and just wanted a nice
lunch with her because he saw her so seldom.

I sat back and looked at him anew; he must have had
a similar shift, because he said, "I've been wrong all
these years. I thought you were contrary, but what you
really are is super-curious."

Would my curiosity about the world, how it ticks and
the determination to do more than he said I could
have grown so huge without his perpetual saying, "no,
you can't"?

I thank my schoolmates for shunning me and making
fun of me in elementary school, because I got to know
the smooth comfort of being in the woods and down at
the beach by myself and finding so much beauty and
love in nature.

I thank my high school mates for making fun of my
terrible grades, impossible sense of dress and a face
full of zits, so I spent more and more time hiding in the
art room. Would I ever have developed the innate
sense of what to do with almost any material in the
making of art if I hadn't spent so much time there?

I thank my three ex-husbands, especially the last, for
waking me up to how much I needed to find out who
was in this body, what she really wanted and needed,
and who she really was. I would have continued on
with one crummy relationship after the other without
that pain to make me wake up, love Me and live Right.

I thank my two amazing, intelligent, innovative, creative
love-saturated sons for having pushed every single
mother-button possible. I grew to become a much better
mother than I ever dared think I could possibly be. I'd
never, ever want to send you back!

I thank the terrible depression that had me in living
terror, curled up in the fetal position for much of the
35-year period until I was 55 for making me acutely
aware of how indescribably beautiful life can be.

I thank all my wonderful close buddies who never
allow me to slip into self-pity or less-than-excellence,
and who give me the opportunity to be present with
and adore them whether they are up or down.

I thank Gary Craig for creating EFT, the tool that
allowed me to rescue myself from that hell, and gave
me the ability to choose powerful service with my
coaching.

I thank every single one of you, and especially you
who have taken my teleclasses and coaching - for
honoring me by listening to what I say and following
my suggestions and finding yourselves more free and
getting 100 times bigger results than you'd imagined.

Most of all, I thank my mother for being timid about
showing her portraits and watercolors. If she had not
refused to show her love ly artwork anywhere but in
friends' houses, I'd never have thought to put my own
in galleries and exhibitions around the world so more
than just my local buddies could see it.

I thank her for being a master of manipulation,
because I'd never have learned to spot it when it was
happening and make new choices for myself.

I thank her for being socially prim...and yet open to
admiration of someone who isn't.

One night just before she died, I was preparing to go
out to a party - by myself. She had agreed to watch
my 1 and 3 year-olds. She said, "You're so brave...."
and her eyes were full of tears.

I didn't know what she meant. She told me that it
never would have occurred to her to go out alone,
unescorted, unprotected by a man. She held the
space for me to be brave, inventive, creative,
outrageous, resourceful and really alive. Thanks, Ma.

And I thank Spirit for being so kind to me my whole
life, presenting me with opportunity after opportunity
to connect and be At Home in my Being - and for
sticking with me even when I chose to rebel and be
miserable. For being completely non-judgmental and
presenting me with more opportunities even after I
had blown so many.

And you - no matter where you live, I send you my
most heart-filled love and wishes for a simply lovely
day today, and may you be grateful and find good
things where only the bad seems to exist, for the rest
of your life.

aloha -

Angela Treat Lyon
The Gateway to Angela:
http://AngelaTreatLyon.com

Week 5 - Concentration

2010-11-29T19:25:00.000-08:00

The perfection of mental stabilization - CONCENTRATION

Definition: Concentration is a mental factor that is capable of abiding one-pointedly on an object of virtue without distraction. (Geshe Loden)

Synonyms for concentration: one-pointedness, fixed mind, which when cultivated, achieves calm abiding, tranquil quiescence, mental quiescence. Concentration is a general term for focusing the mind on an object, calm abiding is a particular type of concentration.

There are nine levels of concentration to attain calm abiding and we need particular conditions, merit, perseverance and motivation in order to perfect concentration.

Mental stabilization brings the mind closer and closer to its object until the mind and object mix.

Special insight and calm abiding are interdependent “as the trunk of a tree is the source of all variety of branches, twigs and leaves, calm abiding and special insight are the source of all realizations.” (Geshe Loden pg 792)

Six pre-requisites or optimum conditions to achieving calm abiding (in 6 months according to Pabonka Rinpoche):

1.) a suitable place
2.) few desires
3.) contentment/being satisfied
4.) not having many activities
5.) pure ethics
6.) abandoning disturbing thoughts/conceptions

Main Practise of concentration – nine stages or levels; 5 obstacles – 8 antidotes

Nine Stages:
1.) placing the mind
2.) placement with continuity
3.) patch-like placement
4.) close placement
5.) controlling
6.) pacifying
7.) complete pacification
8.) single pointed concentration
9.) placement with equanimity

Five Obstacles:
1.) laziness
2.) forgetting the instructions
3.) laxity and excitement (gross and subtle forms)
4.) non-application
5.) over-application

Eight antidotes to the obstacles:
1.) Laziness: faith, aspiration, effort, pliancy
2.) Forgetting: memory/mindfulness
3.) Laxity and excitement: awareness/vigilance
4.) Non-application: application of antidote
5.) Over-application: apply equanimity

Gross Laxity and Excitement are the two main obstacles to overcome while doing single pointed/concentration meditation.

Gross laxity – you are mindful of the object band the image is stable but unclear; it occurs when the mind is too withdrawn. The mind is heavy and we have to lighten it and be joyful. (Loden 810)

Antidotes to laxity in meditation:
- imagine the sun shining on you. Try and focus on the details of the object of meditation very closely. Expand the object, extend it, increase its brilliance.
- Massage the back of your neck. Splash cold water on your face. If need be get up, go for a walk then return to the practice.

Gross excitement: a type of attachment which is led astray by attractive objects; excitement and distraction are different ie you could be angry, this is a distraction not an excitement. Loosen your concentration, you are trying too hard which causes excitement; mind is too high, too happy;

Antidotes to excitement: imagine the moon shining on you. Contemplate death, suffering of lower realms, war, starvation, karma. Count breath for 21, do it twice ot to 100; do physical exercise, return and continue.

Benefits to Calm Abiding? - pliancy of mind and body; ability to achieve emptiness to understand and eradicate suffering; mind will absorb more information more quickly …

Questions to contemplate:What are some of the benefits of concentration we can see manifest in everyday life? What is the damage done by a distracted mind?

Are You a Seeker or a Finder?

2010-11-26T00:01:00.000-08:00

The following quote is taken from EnlightenNext Magazine Quote of the Week. I couldn't help myself when I read this to want to pass it along. There's a full article where this quote comes from, and it's well worth the read!

Are you a seeker or a finder? This is a very important question. If you are on a spiritual path, have you found what you are looking for? Or are you still searching? If you are doing a spiritual practice, are you doing it to reach a goal or are you doing it just because you think it’s a good thing to be doing? Or are you doing spiritual practice from another position altogether—the position of being a finder? Being a finder means you are one of those rare individuals who has unequivocally found what they are looking for, and are now doing spiritual practice only because they want to continue to develop.~ Andrew Cohen

To read this in its entirety, visit Andrew Cohen's blog on the Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-z-cohen/spiritual-practice-is-spi_b_751687.html

Youwealth Replays

2010-11-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

For the month of November I subscribed to Youwealth where I was able to listen to various people speak each day on wealth, health, relationship and consciousness. I was intrigued on two levels: first, professionally I wanted to see how others presented themselves, and then secondly what new information I could personally gain.

The organization Youwealth has just put out the "best of" and I wanted to share these replays with you. You can listen for one week only to these free recordings, so fill your boots and get what you can. I have not listened to them all, so tell me what you think. I especially liked both the women: Ann Taylor and Carol Look.

Ann Taylor does healing prayer right over the telephone re-programming our DNA. What a blast. And Carol Look does EFT, a technique I learned years ago in therapy to help with changing beliefs and patterning through tap touching. It's similar to The Way of the Heart techniques but its based on acupuncture/pressure points. I find EFT really effective for helping with anxiety, fear, overwhelm, pain of any kind and on. Thought you might too.

I've been fighting a nasty flu since Saturday, and today is the first day I feel almost 100%. I didn't do the Teleseminar nor any of my classes this week. I'm sorry to those who were looking forward. The week instead was a wonderful time to deeply relax back into my body. Much, much needed rest.

During this time I saw how I whip myself into and out of shape. How I have such high expectations on myself and how out of touch with my desires I can get. I had family visiting prior to getting ill, and as all the experts say, to see how healed you are, spend a week with your family! The good new is there was no fighting, no disharmoney. Yeah! A first.

So let me know what you think of these various MP3s. If you listen to anything, listen to Ann. I find her voice can get a bit irritating, but the prayers are amazing.

Ann Taylor: REPLAY - SUPER HEALING MARATHON http://youwealthrevolution.com/now/

Darius Barazandeh: REPLAY - The Experiment: The Limitless Process!
http://youwealthrevolution.com/now/

Dr. Symeon Rodger: REPLAY - Secrets of Personal Resilience: Mastering the Ultimate Wealth.
http://youwealthrevolution.com/now/

John Assaraf: REPLAY - Winning the Inner Game of Business.
http://youwealthrevolution.com/now/

Larry Crane: REPLAY - Release Technique: How to Overcome Fear & Resistance to Becoming Wealthy.
http://youwealthrevolution.com/now/

Jim Kwik: REPLAY - Unlocking Your Super Hero Mind: Speedreading & Memory Power for Faster Learning and Earning!
http://youwealthrevolution.com/now/

Carol Look: REPLAY - Secrets and EFT - Tapping Into The Vibration of Abundance!
http://youwealthrevolution.com/now/

Happy Listening!

PATIENCE WITHIN POISE (book excerpt)

2010-11-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

For three years I waited patiently for my next relationship with a man to appear. There had been many nights of tears in bed, gnashing of teeth, deep scrutinizing of soul, lonely hours for me to come to accept what my higher power was trying to say to me.

Then I had an epiphany at a Chant Festival where one of the chant leaders of the Muslim faith said, that everything that happens is because of love. He said, that our Divine loves us more than we can ever know or believe. At the time my immediate human response was, “yeah, well if this is love, then I wonder what hell looks like.” Then I caught myself seeing a higher perspective, that if this is in fact love, then I truly don’t know what love is. That left me flat on my proverbial backside. What I was experieincing hadn’t been feeling like love, the warm, embracing, “give me everything that I want” feeling inside. Instead I felt abandoned, forgotten, left alone and that didn’t feel like love.

I had to turn things on their head and re-look at what I thought love would feel and look like from a Divine Source. Perhaps I have been a spoiled child feeding myself metaphoric sugar, fast food and instant gratification and perhaps the divine parent was now feeding me rolled oats, brown rice and a more substantial diet for a longer term gratification or fulfillment.

I had to concede that perhaps this higher power knew more than I did, knew better for me than I, otherwise every relationship wouldn’t end or at least I’d be in one at the present moment. I had to concede and accept that perhaps a period of time (longer than what I would have deemed necessary) was necessary in which I needed to heal more deeply the in-grained patterns and programs I thought were about love, but in fact were about need, and gratification. That was quite a revelation to me and from that moment of acceptance to this there has been more quiet and less restlessness about this man not coming forward fast enough.

In those three years of waiting I was taught about poise, about self assuredness, about self confidence, and that they and I aren’t dependent upon whom I am in relationship with.

I was taught about bearing, composure and dignity and that they are also not in reliance upon another human being.

I was taught about equanimity and love of my fellows in times when I did not feel my best, but realized that it was not them who were at fault but my programs and conditioning that were making me experience certain emotions.

I was taught a lot about poise, without even knowing that is what I was being taught.

I want to be the kind of person you would look at on the street, while with friends, or in a professional setting and see the same person each time. See the strength, humility, confidence, self-love, poise, bearing, compassion in every moment of my day or night. These are not attributes that come easily or without intention. They come, from my experience with deep attention to the intention. They come from surrounding myself with like-minded and like-hearted individuals. They come from diligence, perseverance and persistent gentleness.

Some days there may be more energy than others, but consistently the willingness to evolve and persevere, to be a better human in order that the planet be a better home to humans, is there. That is my wish. That is my goal. That is my intention, my desire, my dream. How simple yet how difficult to daily show up to these desires of my heart. And I know I’m not alone. I wish to share these words with others who also want to succeed not only for themselves, but for the planet and for humanity to evolve beyond where we are currently.

Week 4 - Perseverance/Joyous Effort

2010-11-18T17:28:00.000-08:00

To be able to generate joyful effort, we must abandon laziness. It is therefore important understand the three kinds of laziness:

1. The laziness of procrastination

- putting our spiritual practice off until “later”. The antidote to laziness is to reflect on impermanence, the preciousness of human existence, and the uncertainty of the time of death.

2. The laziness of being attracted to what is meaningless or non-virtuous

- engaging in meaningless behavior like channel surfing or talking on the telephone with no purpose. These dissipate our energy and our spiritual practice seems like it is an obstacle to our pleasure. Antidote is remembering how these activities waste our precious human existence.

3. The laziness of discouragement
- since we cannot see enlightened beings with our own eyes, sometimes we can doubt whether they exist, or we may see faults in our spiritual teacher or guide. Antidote is to remember that we have the delusion of ignorance, so what appears to our mind is not the way it actually exists.

There are three types of effort:

1. Armour-like effort

We need to put our armour on each morning by firmly resolving not to become overwhelmed or depressed by the difficulties we encounter.

2. The effort of gathering virtuous truths

Exertion of effort into virtuous actions (as opposed to the wish or intention)

3. The effort of benefiting others

Again, the actual exertion of effort to benefit others (as opposed to the wish or intention.

There are four ways to increase our effort.
These are known as the four forces:

1. Aspiration
The wish to engage in virtuous actions by seeing their benefits and the dangers of non-virtuous actions

2. Steadfastness
Like water in a wide river, gently flowing day and night, year after year. Better to apply small effort continuously than a huge amount for a few days and then stop. Before you take on a task, think about if you can complete it.

3. Joy
Like a child at play, engrossed and content in our games, letting nothing distract us.

4. Relaxation
Don’t get overtired from exerting too much effort…relax so you can apply new effort again.

Week 3 - Patience

2010-11-18T16:52:00.000-08:00

How could you find enough leather
To cover the ground?
Having leather on the soles of your sandals
Is the same as covering the whole earth
- Shantideva, Guide to the Bodhisattvas Way of Life

Definition: “Patience is a resolute response against adversity stemming from a settled temperament unperturbed by either external or internal disturbance.”
- HHDL, Healing Anger

Patience is a virtuous mind that can remain undisturbed or indifferent to any form of harm inflicted by others; can voluntarily endure and remain undisturbed or indifferent to any form of suffering and can remain definitely thinking about love and spiritual life.

What is the object of our patience but negative emotions and delusions. We need to understand moral discipline otherwise If we don’t have the correct ethics, then how do we know when or who to be patient with? Remember the nature of being caught in the cyclic existence of suffering is to be confused and to have conflict so don’t be surprised when negative emotions arise – embrace them! Ironically, we need adversity to cultivate patience.

Trust and acceptance are in involved in cultivating patience. Like a piece of smooth driftwood, we need sandpaper to create the smoothness, not silk!

Patience is an antidote to anger, jealousy, hatred/self hatred/aversion (fear). These negative emotions cause suffering and destroy our virtue. Practicing patience helps us in this life and in all future lives.

There is definite distinction between meekness and tolerance. We are not advocating being a doormat! We must apply countermeasures when necessary.

There are three kinds of patience

1. The patience of not retaliating, remaining calm in the face of attackers
- not reacting to harm or abuse from others (whether intentional or not)

2. The patience of accepting suffering
- when we are up against difficulties and hardships, mundane and spiritual

3. The patience of assurance in the Truth
- applying ourselves to reflecting on spiritual teachings, no matter how difficult this may be

Benefits of patience:

There are seven benefits:
1.) your spiritual practice will deepen and become stronger
2.) your renunciation will deepen you will be less attached to the mundane world and therefore be happier
3.) your complexion will soften and your appearance will become more attractive generally
4.) your karma in future will be lessened because you’ve already endured some of the ripening of it in the present
5.) remove arrogance
6.) develop compassion
7.) avoid non-virtue and rejoice in virtue

Chandrakirti said that if we practice patience we will have a very beautiful human body in the future and we will become a holy being with high realizations.

Be angry at your anger, jealousy, self hatred, destroy the true delusion which is self cherishing and ignorance, not the person who is inflicting the anger or is the object of delusion.

Patience is armour and beautiful jewelry too!

Heartwork/Homework
1.) Ask yourself where do I not have a settled temperment unperturbed by internal or external disturbances?
2.) Make a list of resentemnts of people or situations which agitate your mind.
3.) Meditate on Acceptance and WHAT IS.
4.) Ruminate on the word PATIENCE - all week. Notice when you need to cultivate it in everyday life.

Week 2 - Moral Discipline/Ethics

2010-11-18T15:15:00.000-08:00

This week we turned our focus onto how and why we must train in moral discipline and ethics in all that we think, do and say.

To listen to the replay, click this link:
http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=15684258 Please note there is about a minute of dead air to begin.

The perfection of ethics is a state of mind with the ultimate goals being

ALLEVIATE Suffering & CREATE Happiness & Peace

We do this by:
1.) Restraining from harm
2.) Creating virtue – that which causes peace; non virtue is that which disturbs the mind
3.) Benefitting Other Beings

There are three major ways as a human being we must train in moral discipline and ethics.

Through our:
Body
- avoid sexual misconduct
- avoid killing
- avoid stealing

Speech
- avoid lying
- avoid gossip
- avoid slander (divisive or harsh speech)

Mind
- avoid wrong view.

There are eleven virtuous mental factors to keep in mind: faith, shame, embarrassment, non-attachment, non-hatred, non-ignorance, joyous effort, pliancy, conscientiousness, equanimity and non-harmfulness.

Guard the mind from disturbing emotions. Acknowledge faulty thoughts and actions.

Short term suffering - > long term happiness
Short term happiness - > long term suffering

GUARD YOUR MORAL DISCIPLINE LIKE YOR EYES

Being in a human body, as hard as we try to attain and perfect our moral discipline and ethics, we transgress and fall down. The following are antidotes to cleanse and purify our transgressions.

The Four Antidotes
1.) Power of Reliance
2.) Counteractive Behaviour
3.) Regret
4.) Promise

Power of Reliance
1.) take heartfelt refuge in the unseen beings and higher powers
2.) cultivate the wish to help beings; cultivate an altruistic intention

Counteractive Behaviour= Positive action as Purification
1.) make offerings (of time, objects, fearlessness and love)
2.) consciously
3.) cultivate compassion and love consciously do kind hearted actions
4.) contemplate interconnectedness and interdependence of all beings and all phenomena

Regret
First acknowledge your wrong actions, thoughts, or speech as if you have swallowed poison and deeply regret your transgressions. This action will reinforce the deep dislike for what we have done.

Promise
In our mind and heart we make a promise not to do the nonvirtuous action again for a set period of time. Make the period of time reasonable, so that you will actually fulfil the promise to self.

Example, say that you won’t gossip for a week. At the end of the week, when you feel you’ve accomplished your promise, then re-set your goal. Build on the strength of doing virtue, rather than setting the intention to never gossip again and failing to do that, feeling bad when you fall down.

Heartwork/Homework
1.) Write a list of people you have harmed, deceived, stole from, spoken ill of, lied to IN YOUR LIFETIME. Make sure your name is on the list.
2.) Notice when you need to apply the antidotes in your life.

To listen to the replay, click this link:
http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=15684258

POISE

2010-11-13T03:49:00.000-08:00

When the drama of emotions wears itself out, the calmness of serenity arises; the truth emerges. When the veils of confusion are lifted the dawn of acceptance, of forgiveness, of self-love breaks.

It’s pretty radical to think and to experience the fact that there is only love, and all else in conditioning and a learned program. Radical. Yet true.

In a state of waiting, our work becomes learning deeper levels of patience, equanimity, observation and subtler levels of self-love, self-assurance, self-possession and confidence. None of these are come by easily and without a struggle or fight from the ego. Something must die in order for space to be made for those qualities to deepen. We must cultivate patience in the times of watching parts of our “identity” die, and we must holdfast to our composure, faith and trust during the times when this inner dying is occurring and the new confidence and strength has yet to be born. There is a universal moment of waiting that can take days, weeks or months to arrive that we must live through with grace, faith and poise.

One must first know what the meaning of self assurance, self confidence, self possession are before we can hold these states. When one loves oneself deeply and fully and can hold oneself gently in times of strife and in an equanimous way where neither left nor right is right or wrong; where up or down is neither good nor bad knowing that all is good, we move into mastery. This is a state of mastery of self-love. Every direction, every possibility can only bring about evolution and change for humanity and one can be patient, composed and ready for whatever it is that needs to appear and let it appear in its own time.

Stillness. Poise. In a time of waiting, one needs poise. Timing in life is always a factor. The perfect moment always arrives. To be in time /on time poise is always necessary. It is the state when one is absolutely ready for chronos and kyros to meet. It is key to when the eternal, vertical moment of kyros and the horizontal, earthbound chronos energy of life collide; one must be ready to accept what occurs. Poise: the positioning of oneself with grace while listening intently to the situation at hand. We can call it bearing, composure, self-assurance, deportment, dignity, self-confidence, carriage, good posture. The Random House College Dictionary defines it thus:

A state of balance or equilibrium as from equality or equal distribution; dignified, self-possession; the state or position of hovering; to adjust, hold or carry in equilibrium, balance evenly.

It is in this balancing evenly that not giving up hope is the toughest. Having faith and continuously surrendering to what the next moment or day will bring becomes the work. Watching the bank account lessen and the line of credit increase is the work. Watching the daily decisions about food being bought, bills being paid and paying attention to the feelings at every step, is the work. Intention is the key and with poise the only intention at this point is for clarity and to be of highest service. We must enjoy our life supremely while we’re in the holding pattern.

The Divine, the Universe, the Field, God, the Buddhas, Allah, Jawah, whatever name you want to call it, never takes us to the top of the heap to drop us off. We are all being called to higher duty, and for that to happen we must dig deeper within for more self-confidence, self-assuredness, self-possession. These all must be equally distributed in our being, must be embodied fully in order for the next marching orders to appear. We wait and we wait. Some of us busy ourselves in the waiting which makes for a more difficult time in the hearing of what it is we are to hear.

As the Sufi poet Hafiz wrote, the Divine can only pour water into a still jug.

Six Qualities of an Awakening Being - Week 1 GENEROSITY

2010-10-27T20:09:00.000-07:00

On October 21st my new Teleseminar on the Six Qualities of an Awakening Being began, and I went Global. People phoned in, listened in on the Web and even emailed in after the hour was up. There was a bit of bumping and grinding sorting out all the technical glitches, and after 30 minutes of that, the Session truly began. I am in the process of editing the Recording of it so that others can tune into the information at their convenience. I first need to find a computer editing program for the spoken word and music. Anyone out there have a suggestion?

So what did we speak about in terms of Generosity. Well an overview looks like this.

There are FOUR types or ways of being generous. Often we think only of being generous materially. But in fact through giving of our: time, fearlessness, love (speaking the truth) AND material possessions or money we can practise the ACT of generosity.

Giving of Time: when we help someone with their homework, with crossing the street, with researching a particular subject for a presentation. When we give our time freely listening to them, patting their furry coat (an animal), holding their hand in hospital or while they lay on the couch being ill. This is a form of generosity.

Fearlessness: the obvious one in this category is walking someone in the dark to their car after a concert or a party because they are afraid. This category goes further though. Currently we as a species are living in an overall climate of Fear on the planet. Or more rightly terrorism. Whenever one of us lives out of the operating System of Love, Faith, Trust and Unity, rather than Terror or Fear, we are embodying and therefore sharing our sense of Fearlessness. Whenever we choose to act out of love, making decisions based on trust in higher energies, then we are offering up Fearlessness to the planet.

Love/Dharma: this type of giving is in a Buddhist context traditionally seen as offering teachings about the Truth or the nature of reality. This true nature of reality is what we know as Unity Consciousness or Love. When we speak, teach, write about these concepts, and especially if we embody them then we are offering to others the gift of love and the dharma. When someone is confused, jealous, fearful or angry. If they fall into these lower frequency energy states, then we counsel them back into higher and more enjoyable states of being of acceptance, trust, perseverance. This is known as the Giving of Love or Dharma.

Material: this is the one we think of most when we speak about being generous. Have I donated to a charity? Have I put coins into the cup of the local beggar at the supermarket? Do I buy people lovely gifts at Christmas and for their birthdays? In fact, this form of generosity, is only one of the four.

In order to be generous we first must be able to notice where Resistance comes up in our lives. We need first to clear up the resistance, the blocks, to allow new energy to come in for generosity to flow through. So, to do this we must FORGIVE.

All the categories of Giving or Generosity depend upon the Intention and Motivation one has behind the giving. If one wants to give in order to receive something in return, then in fact this is not true giving at all. True giving comes from a purely altruistic intention, to benefit the being, the circumstance solely for their benefit, with no expectation of reward or praise.

Homework/heartworkEach week I am posting homework for people to deepen their understanding of the quality of awakening on the teleseminar. We will also discuss the homework on the following call, to see what it brought up for others with new insights and realizations.

1.) Forgiveness Exercise: look to see who you need to forgive in your life for past transgressions, hurts, pains and sufferings they have inflicted upon you. Look inside yourself to where you need to forgive Yourself. Where have you betrayed yourself? Where have you not shown up for yourself? Forgive these times.

2.) Clean out closets, old files and old trinkets on your shelves. Let go of old energy, again to allow in new and to create space for more prosperity to show up.

3,) Keep track and make note of acts of generosity that you do for others in the four ways outlined: giving of time, fearlessness, material goods and love/the dharma. Also keep track where you are generous with yourself in theses four ways.

4.) Complete the Money Madness questionnaire to see what your beliefs are about Money. If you'd like a copy of this, let me know in the comments section and I'll send a copy directly to you.

What do 37 Million Turkish women have in common? via #constantcontact

2010-10-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

What do 37 Million Turkish women have in common? via #constantcontact

2010-09-19T04:38:00.000-07:00

ISTANBUL - Pilgrimage aftermath

2010-09-14T08:40:00.000-07:00

I have to apologize to all those folks who came to the site to hear about my travels and there was no news. Turkey proved waaaay too difficult to negotiate the internet in all the various cities we were visiting, at the pace we were going and all the activities we were fitting in daily. You'll have to wait to read about the sites and sensations as they are slowly integrated into my life and words.

So almost the entire gang left this morning on their flight back to Chicago. There were nine of us out of the 30 that stayed behind for extra time. I changed hotels leaving the historic and very touristy Sultanahmet, crossing over the Bosphorus Rıver to the area called Galata, making my way up to Begolyu and Taxım. Stıll lots of out of town travellers, but the prices for everything are at least 30% cheaper.

So where to begin speaking about the benefits of pilgrimage?

One thıng to always be aware of is that when one sets and intention, the opposite of the intention will be called up to be challenged. And although the journey itself went without me having to crawl in the psychological muck the end of pilgrimage slammed me pretty hard. I was completely blindsided late this morning and spent most of the day re-gaining my equilibrium. Knowing its all good. The pilgrimage was all about love so it made sense I was being called to love more deeply and to love unconditonally.

Much more to digest yet and the journey continues.

Istanbul - Day Two

2010-09-02T05:27:00.000-07:00

Never one to begin at the beginningş I wıll begin the Trıp blog on day two. Actually spent 18 hours ın Kuala Lumpur on a stop over en route to Turkey and what a time that was!

I had hoped to swim and bathe with the elephants at an Elephant sanctuary outsıde Kuala Lumpur, but alas it was a Malaysian pubic holiday (Freedom Day) and because no one else was going on the tour the guide was demanding I pay for two passengers, instead of just me. That would have put me back in excess of $200 US. I had to make a quick decision and unfortunately the elephants are going to have to wait.

But it ıs day two in Istanbul and I've just finished an hour in Istanbul's oldest Hamman, Cağaloğlu Hamamı built in 1741. And for those not in the know, a hamman (aka Turkish bath) is a Muslim ritual of bathing that both the men and women would do prior to going to mosque to pray.

A woman attendent fırst splashed my entire body wıth warm water, then lay me down gently on the marble slab ın a rotunda room. Then she dry scrubbed me with a loofah type glove, and lathered me up with soap both front and back. Once rinsed off she then massaged me from head to toe, leaving only my girl bits untouched. Professionally and yet with warmth and kindness she scraped away the dirt of yesterday leaving me more fully present to face today.

Having only arrived in Istanbul yesterday I already feel as though I know Sulanahmet, the area where I am staying, quite well. The city overall feels small enough to navigate yet bustling over with energy and colour. The shops seem to repeat themselves and there's only so many kebap and balklava shops one can take in.

Yesterday I took the tram from Sultanahmet station across the Galata bridge to venture into less touristy territory. Once over the bridge I hopped off the train to begin the trek up Istikal Cad where I walked and walked and walked. For over two hours I window shopped ın Istanbul's more hıp and contemporary neıghborhood where few tourists seem to venture. I then met up with a friend of my cousin's, Cynthıa Mandarsky who ıs a New York filmmaker currently livıng ın Istanbul. We met in the front of the Galata Kulası or the Galata Palace the oldest stone structure ın Istanbul to then walk around the corner to have dinner at her friend's very quaint restaurant.

I hopped a cab back to the hotel after dinner to lay my head down on a pillow properly for the first time in 48 hours. Bliss.

Fırst ımpressions of Istanbul. Wow. What a fabulous, alıve, ıntrıcate, complex and big city. I arrived at 6 a.m. in the morning and like any city at that hour its like seeing a middle aged woman without her make up on yet. There is an innocence and vulnerability to the streets before they become peopled with the hussle and bustle. After about 9 a.m. though the painted mask goes on, the flexing of the muscle begins, the shops open, the wares spill out onto the streets and then men begin to glare at the long blond hair.

I feel comfortable and safe. Other than the obligatory Turkish coffee and the tram token I haven't had need yet to spend any money untıl the Hamman just now. Breakfast comes wıth the prıce of the hotel room at the nıcely appointedö quaint Arcadia Hotel, so so far I've been making my shopping list ın my mind.

The group arrives today in a few hours and honestly I'm looking forward to the company. I'm tired of myself and would like to begin a bit more purposeful travel. I have saved going to the Blue Mosque and the Hagia Sofia because we will be having a tour guide and I didn't want to pay any admission prices twice.

I'd love to hear from others what their ımpressions of Istanbul are. I look forward to searching out the favorite baklava shop my friend Wendy send me the address to. Also coming to a new country for the first time only ever happens once and I am thrilled to be here. We have a rooftop Cafe where we breakfast and I'll download some photos from there later.

Internet availability is going to be a bit hit and miss, especially as we leave the City, and there seems to be a glitch to me signing onto my blog for some reason. I had to take a circuitous route to get here today, so be patient as we venture along. As well I'm sure you've noticed that some of the i's are dotted and some are not. The vagaries of using a Turkish keyboard.

Until tomorrow.

Bridge to Brisbane 5 KM Run/Walk

2010-08-29T02:55:00.000-07:00

Well folks, I DID IT! I set an intention, a very concrete goal early in May and today I saw myself fulfilling that goal. What a feeling!

Back in May after I returned from Vancouver I wanted to dig back into my personal training. My PT asked me what I would like to work towards, and other than I wanted to be healthier and a bit more trim I didn't have a goal. That's when she suggested run/walking the Bridge to Brisbane 5 or 10 KM Fun Run.

Now usually I'm not one for these 40,000 plus people extravaganza events, but something was calling to me this round. She suggested I join the Sowelu Clinic team, and be part of something bigger. So I did.

Then the training began. As I've written previously, the training has mainly been the battles in my mind to get out the door, but I concede that muscles also need to be worked on.

In this past week I trained 6 of 7 days, and even ran/walked twice over an hour in preparation for today. What I ended up finding out today is that I far surpassed the 5 km running mark in my training. Today was a breeze compared to what I had prepared my mind (and body) for. In retrospect I calculated that on Wednesday I actually ran about 7 km, not the prescribed 5.

And what did it feel like after the race? Absolutely AMAZING! When we first crossed the starting line I heard my inner voice jump up and down saying "You're doing it! You're doing it!" To be perfectly honest I took it super easy. I started running for about 5 minutes, then walked, ran again for 5, walked for maybe 2 or 3 minutes and continued this way for about the first 20 minutes when I passed the 3 km mark. I even stopped to take a pee on route because I truly wanted this to be an enjoyable experience.

Then when we pased the final 1 km marker I couldn't believe that I had only been travelling for 30 minutes! When I passed through the finish line the tears of triumph came quickly to my eyes. I did it! I couldn't stop saying to myself over and over. I did it! I did it!

It's not that I didn't believe I could finish the course, but it's been over 30 years since I last ran 5 km that it just seemed such an unrealistic and far on the horizon goal. And with the time quickly passing, having an injured achilles tendon and not being able to run for 3 weeks and then getting the flu and being set back another 2 weeks I had an incredibly hard time getting motivated again.

I think that's why the feeling of triumph is so great. Because the obstacles leading towards today were big, in my eyes, and in my mind.

Changing our minds, setting intentions and goals, stepping beyond our comfort zones, beyond what we know of ourselves and what we think we're capable of, that is the work of a spiritual warrior. Regardless of the activity, if one is able to go beyond a previous level, then growth is occuring. Growth of the spirit, growth of the person. We grow, a day at a time into becoming the person we were brought here to be. So often we get in our own way of becoming that beauty. But today the spirit triumphed!

The Inception

2010-08-14T04:32:00.001-07:00

Just returned home from watching the latest Leonard Di Caprio movie directed by Christopher Nolan which gripped me all the way through. It was on my favorite of favorite topics: dreams and the dreaming state.

I've always, ever since I was a child had an active dream life. On a weekly basis my aunt slept with me at our house, and she would invariably tell everyone in the mornings what I had been saying or doing in my sleep. One particular night when I was about 10, just before our Baseball finals she came into the room to find me standing in a batter's position ready to take the imaginary pitch that I saw being thrown.

I have woken more than a few lovers up with my fitful thrashings and screams. So coming to understand more about my psyche and the dream state has always been a fascination of mine. Isee too it must have been for the writer of this movie.

"The Inception" explores how ideas get planted into someone's psyche, and the deeper into the subconscious one travels, the more protected the psyche is. THe movie dove into four levels of dream and helped me make sense of why there is often so much violence and chasing of the protaganists in dreams. This is just the psyche's way of protecting the dreamer. I always used to think I was subconsiously being assaulted and attacked because I had in the past very self destructive tendencies. Lo and behold, it is simply protection.

Also I learned tonight how the dreamer snaps out of the dream state, either by dying or being jerked in a fall. Both those occurences have happened way too many times to tell.

Although the flick was way too violent, and at times the sound quality wasn't very good so the dialogue was muddy I thought this was a two thumbs up evening out.

I truly believe that our dreams give us personal information directly from our spirit or soul. Information that perhaps we're too afraid in the waking life to face or have repressed for many, many years. It goes without saying, although I'm saying it, the dream life is rich in symbols, archetypes and meaning. If you ever want to know the deeper states of being of someone ask them about their latest dream.

The other night I dreampt about little bear cubs all over a white mountainside frolicking and playing. Maybe twenty or so little black bears, and I knew that where there are cubs, there has to be a very ferocious mother bear. But she was no where to be seen. I worried incredibly in the dream about the mother bear showing up unexpectedly and wanting to harm me. She never did appear! Black bears in my Buddhist symbology means protection, so I am supposing that all those little cubs were new parts of security appearing just for me.

When was the last time you had a profound or life altering dream?

Winterbreak Songwriters Retreat

2010-08-01T22:02:00.001-07:00

It's been a week since our return from the Retreat, but it's never too late to expound about the virtues of gathering like hearts & souls for a common purpose. Such an occassion was the Winterbreak Songwriters Retreat, where 24 brave folks attended from all over Southeast Queensland. I had three different roles while being up in the Gold Coast Hinterland: a.) as Meditation instructor and Workshop leader, b.) as organizational helper to Steve Seaton (www.looseacoustic.com.au) and c.) singing student.

First on the professional front a word about the morning Meditation sits and the "Tuning into Your Muse" workshop. Each day began at 7 a.m. where a group of at least 10 participants joined in the Guided Meditations that I conducted. I taught firstly about the Optimal 7 Point Meditation Posture and then moved into Breathing Meditation. Both mornings I discussed the value of meditation, how we need to focus the mind, connect the mind and the body and learn to able to calm the mind to help us in our everday lives.

The second morning I added a second traditional meditation on Compassion called Tong Lin, or Giving and Taking. This latter meditation a number of practitioners truly enjoyed.

As for the "Tuning into Your Muse" workshop, this was meant to be a "Taster", more like a teaser workshop, for 45 minutes on the final day of the retreat. I led the participants through an Inner Child Meditation to give them the experience of where their muse might dwell, then we did a few other exercises to introduce them to perhaps previously untapped parts of themselves. Much discussion, tears and a few laughs were had as we hurriedly had to cover the sacred ground of where the Muse resides, how to connect and stay connected to it. But much was gained.

In the role as participant of the Weekend, being part of Susanna Carman's (see www.susannacarmen.com) Singing Workshop for the entire day of Saturday was one of the highlights of my creative expression life!

Systemtically she walked us through the anatomy of singing, both using the voice and the rest of our body; she had us do exercises to connect us up with our higher visions of what we'd like to express through our singing (we danced our way through this part!), and lastly she had each of us bravely sing a few lines of a favorite song in front of our peers and then gently but critically assessed our singing. It was this last exercise that I found the most challenging and yet the most liberating.

After I repeated the first few lines of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" a number of times, had my posture and nasal passages adjusted, it was when Susanna crept behind me and held me in a bearhug (from behind) and had me sing a version like this, that I broke down. With tears streaming down my face I continued singing, all the group participants knowing they had witnessed a "break through" for this closet singer, and as I said, I felt liberated in a way I've never felt before!

So going beyond our comfort zones is so very, very important, in acting our ways into new thinking. I have absolutley no aspirtations to become a singer in public, however it was a challenge I personally wanted to overcome. Again and again I repeat it is in the doing of new actions that our brain maps will be jolted into new neuro pathways and neurons firing which will create new ways of thinking in us.

We will never be able to think our way into new Thinking. Only ACT our way into new THINKING. From the new actions we gain confidence and new thoughts arise as to how we see ourselves. From how we see ourselves new thoughts arise as to how we will vision the future. And from there, dreams really do come true!

When was the last time you leaped out of your comfort zone IN PUBLIC? I'd love to know.

Long Way Round

2010-07-18T22:38:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks have been filled to overflowing with ruminating, visioning and dreaming about the changes to take place with Diamond Thought. I've consulted a whizz bang Business Coach, Ben Sibley (www.Goandseeben.com.au), who steered me through exercises as well as helped me see the true value and worth of what I offer to the world. I also am in consultation with Kate Haskett from Shock Media (www.shockmedia.com.au) about how to get my message into new sectors.

I've been doing so much contemplating and writing for the business, that my blog writing has taken a back seat, and I've been lost for words. Such days of peace have arisen and for that I am eternally grateful.

What has been haunting me though is a TV Series that I rented out on DVD starring Scottish actor Ewen MacGregor and English actor Charley Booreman. They are two lads in their late thirties, both with families, who embark on a gruelling 20,000 mile around the world journey on their motorcycles. Begining in London they venture through eastern Europe, through Ukraine, Mongolia, Russia, flying over the Bering Straight, landing in Alaska then travelling down through Canada, into the States ending up 110 days later in New York City.

And although the shooting of the journey and the tales along the way were intriguing, watching two youngish men overcome travelling obstacles along the way, even at times moving me to tears, it is the symbolic significance of THE JOURNEY that I wish to speak of here.

When the first four disk set finished I felt a saddness inside that I couldn't quite place. it felt odd because it isn't as if I have a personal connection to these two people. As I sat with the feeling longer, I realized that it was that I was so enthralled and engrossed in the process that these human beings underwent, that my empathy grew as their journey continued. Further I was in awe and admiration how incredibly courageous to allow the TV viewing public to see not only their vulnerable sides, in the morning, being tired, missing their loved-ones, but also the inner fortitude they mustered after moments of deep doubt.

After three days of travelling the torturous terrain along the non-existent roads of Mongolia they were going to take the easier way of heading north back into Russia, where they knew there would be roads. Captured on film is the discussion between Ewen and Charley, between Ewen and the producer and between Ewen and himself in the form of a Video Camera Diary going back and forth between the pros and cons. In the end the team chose to continue the struggle through Mongolia; choosing the road less travelled to encounter themselves more deeply, having to dig deeper within to overcome more incredbile hardships. In the end it was the choice of becoming better people because of it.

So often we choose the easier, softer way to our destination. So often we get discouraged and want to give up along the route because the unforeseen obstacles become far too great. It is however in equal proportion to the effort that we put into our journey that we receive joy as a result. We have been aculturated to believe that easier is better, however we cannot become a soft piece of wood by continually having silk slide over us. Instead we need the sandpaper of life to smooth our rough and pokey edges.

Any journey film excites me, just by the nature of it. Life is a journey. The destination is never as important as the effort we put in along the way. And not only the effort, but the quality of the effort. We also all need inspirational stories to help us continue on our own personal journeys. Ewen and Charley's bike trip did just that for me. In a time when I am undergoing transition and transformation sometimes the lack of clarity, like a continuous stint of rain, can get a bit daunting. Rationally we all know the sun will shine again, but in the midst of the relentless downpour, we need gentle and heroic reminders.

I was so jazzed by Ewen and Charley's epic travels that after the CDs had finished I felt like my journey had also ended. It was then that I realized there was another box set of their trip from the northern tip of Scotland at Joan Groats to the tip of South Africa in Capetown sitting at the Video Store waiting for me. And guess what I did?

Sunday Afternoon

2010-07-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

I want to love myself on a Monday
the way I do on a Sunday

no time pieces, measuring spoons or yardsticks
just me & ME
in the expanse of a day

the yellow golden sun of knowledge
the alchemical transformation
of this world into that
in which I await & know
simultaneously
that is love

both on a Sunday & a Monday

Lisa Richards Concert Mini Review - June 28th

2010-07-06T03:26:00.000-07:00

From the striking of the very first note at last Saturday night's Loose Acoustic House Concert, Australian born, Austin based singer-songwriter Lisa Richards entranced the small, but appreciative audience. Casting an almost mesmerizing spell with the powerful combination of reflective original lyrics, haunting melodies and the seasoned and fully emboded delivery of each song, the audience was at times left breathless. About to record her sixth album, Richards road tesed many of her most recently written songs. Accompanied by Jeff May's subtle and tasty bass playing the concert was more than simply memorable. Two consummate professionals in a perfect listening venue, what a divine treat. If the other night was a glimpse of what is to come, I wholeheartedly look forward and await her return to Brisbane very soon.

Waiting for God(ot)

2010-06-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

I had the great priviledge yesterday of being given a free ticket (which is another story itself) to see the play Waiting for Godot at the Sydney Opera House, with one of my favorite British actors, Sir Ian McKellan. And although his is not a household name, he has an utterly recognizable face and demeanor, playing such character parts as the head master in the Harry Potter series, one of the main characters in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit and soon to be in the re-make of a British drama The Prisoner.

It is not he as a person that I wish to speak of today, rather his performance at the Opera House and the play in which he not only brought off the page to life, but brought the audience (along with the other actors) into the transcendent, into the eternal of all that is. What I mean by all those lofty words is that through his art, through his playing of a character he stepped out of the way of his own personality and ego to allow the words of another artist (Samuel Beckett) to ring through to the truth as the writer saw it.

And what exactly is this truth that Sir McKellan brought to us, via Mr. Beckett's words? The message was two fold I believe: that there is an absurdity to life, the everyday, mundane existence that we all experience and then a more complicated and perhaps veiled and elevated message. This latter is that in the absurdity and being aware of it, we may come to a place, come to experience a peace, a place of calm simply in the surrendering to the Unknown. Surrendering to this character named Godot. Or some may call the Mystery, the Divine.

Now these concepts are hardly novel, however, to have the sum of the parts (writing, acting, and delivery) create something more powerful than a message is a life altering and enriching experience. One I feel blessed to have been apart of.

The use of silence as the vehicle to communicate, which Beckett did with his minimalist writing, and then to have the actors exquisitely deliver the rhythm and cadence of this silence allowing the audience to open up and simply experience the power of The Mystery, of the Unknown and The Unknowable, was as close to a Spiritual experience that I've ever had in a temple.

I was not only in the presence of greatness with these actors, they communicated and channeled through their art to the audience The Presence of Greatness.

Now how wonderful is that on a day out in Sydney!

After the play I walked along Circular Quay to The Rocks thinking to myself how many people actually are aware of the Mystery as they go through their mundane, day to day? And how many move into this Mystery on a moment to moment basis when they feel inner resistance? Inner conflict or struggle?

Where are you with being aware of, acknowledging, understanding then experiencing this Presence? This Mystery? This unknowable power? How often do we simply get stuck in the confusion and conflict of the mundane, waiting, instead of taking intentional action from a centredness and knowingness that comes to us from the silence and inner stillness?

Sydney Sunday

2010-06-19T17:43:00.000-07:00

Body Training with the Mind

2010-06-16T19:01:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday. Just another Thursday in the middle of June. I awake, not in a negative frame of mind this morning. Hurray! Instead I am rested and feeling a bit heavy because I did a weight workout yesterday and my killer Personal Trainer is into pain big time. No, just kidding. Karen Anderson, from Body Maintenance (http://www.bodymaintenance.com.au/) has been one of the best gifts Australia has brought to me. Even with her casted broken leg (from jumping out of an air plane!), she's willing to haul around 20kg weights and throw them onto the leg press while I shiver thinking my legs won't be able to handle the weight.

Seriously though, yesterday in my workout we were discussing body mechanics, pain thresholds and how much of physical fitness is actually training the mind. Yes, we have physical limitations, HOWEVER Karen has helped me hear the belief systems I carry around in my head around what those body limits are, because I actually vocalize them.

Yesterday when she gave me a new weight for some arm exercise she caught me saying to her:"I'll probably be able to do 5 reps with this one." She immediately jumped in to correct me by saying that if I put a concrete number on my expectation then the mind will only go to that number and not beyond. She said why don't I re-frame the language and say to myself let's see how many of these I can do. So with that guidance I did just that, I said "Cancel to the previous thought" and I re-framed and declared instead "Let's see how many of these I can do." I managed to push out 13, one over the number that she had hoped for. My mind had first said I couldn't do it, then with the re-training of it, my body followed.

I am in the business of helping others not only becoming aware of the belief systems they have and the internal negative voices they allow to continuously speak to them. Well I've been caught out. And I'm completely up for the re-training.

When I returned from Canada in early May I set myself a new challenge, to dilligently focus on my physical fitness. I set the goal, and I am here declaring it as well that I will run/walk, I will FINISH, as Karen helps me re-frame the languaging, the Bridge to Brisbane Run on August 28th.

The challenge for me, of course, is the physical one, of every other day lacing up my running shoes and getting my tush out the door to do my 25-30 minute walk/runs so that slowly I build up and can continuously run for an hour or so. But I believe even more than that, the challenge is changing my BELIEF SYSTEMS around what my physical capabilities are.

I am wanting to achieve full balance in my life: emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical. I have been humming for quite awhile on three of the four quadrants being strong. It's now that I face the final leg holding up this being.

How are you doing with Balance in your life? With being aware of and then challenging your Belief Systems? Are your beliefs serving you in every area of your life? Are you as satisfied on a daily basis as you'd like to be with your efforts and outcomes? Where are you at with your Physical Fitness? I'd like to know.

Cactus Bloom - Morning Negativity

2010-06-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

I awake this morning and for, I would say, at least the ten thousandth time, I feel negative. I don't even have to open my eyes and I feel the "doom and gloom" of another day. I lack the motivation to JUMP! out of bed to seize the day. I say "I feel" because I know intrinsically I am not negative. The feeling eventually changes as the moments on the clock tick away. But upon awakening I do feel negative.

How can it be that morning after morning, day in and day out working with my emotions, becoming aware of my belief systems, year in and year out changing the negative beliefs and mind set from one of being a Victim to being a Creator, that I STILL wake up in a negative state of mind??? The feelings only last as long as I dwell on them, nurse them, and by that I mean believe them and buy into them. But still, why can't I awake with feelings of excitement, bliss and happiness?

I know the feelings arise from unconscious belief systems that I have had since my early childhood. Feelings of being alone and forgotten. Feelings of abandonment and that I don't matter. Feelings like I had to do it on my own, otherwise I wouldn't survive.

I know they were created during the early years of having no parent be with me in the mornings as I dressed myself for school , then descended the stairs to the kitchen in the dead of winter, made myself breakfast, packed my school bag and closed the door behind me, not saying good bye to anyone in the mornings while both my parents slept. I, like so many others out there, know all this, and yet still the patterns in my brain and neuro pathways that were created then remain. I must now combat the biology in my brain; the neuro peptides that coarse through my being, even before I'm awake in the anticipation of a new day. Daytime to that part of my brain means death on some level. Or at least sadness and despair.

To begin, I must change my behaviour in the mornings as soon as I open my eyes. I know on the days that I have an appointment first thing and I miss the alarm and have to do the grand hustle into my clothes, make-up, grab something to eat and be out the door there isn't a nano second for the feelings of dread and greyness to come into mind. I am out the door, shoving the key into the car ignition on my way before I realize I'm feeling rushed, but not negative.

It will always be the change in behaviour that will aid our brain chemistry into new pathways, and hence new thoughts creating new feelings. We change the behaviour to change the thinking. I maintain we cannot change the thinking with new thinking. It doesn't work. I can lie in bed for hours watching my mind thinking negative thoughts, doing mindfulness of mind meditation and I will still be lying there. I will not have bit into the day the way those people I am most admire do.

Then the question arises, if I jump into each morning, where is the space for silence, contemplation and meditation? If I jumpstart the brain like applying electric shock therapy to the day how can I cultivate the gentle, loving kindness and compassion that I so love to be with in the mornings? You see once I swing my legs out of the bed, have my cup of tea I usually hit the meditation cushion for at least 30-45 minutes. It is there that the change in my mind in the chemical warfar happens. From brutish bully to serenity.

Am I simply a person who needs to take my mornings slowly, gently and with love and compassion towards myself? Or do I need to fundamentally change my behaviour?

I guess the answer lies in how well my behaviour serves me. Some days it might serve me best to leap out of bed, and seize the day because the cage of self destruction is being rattled hard and furiously. If I don't stop the torrent of negativity by changing my actions, then I aim the venom outwardly on Steve (husband) or Josh (step-son) and I KNOW with every cell of my being that that behaviour never has and never will serve me. On the days that I have the luxury of slinking out from between the sheets at my own pace and have only a mild form of self sabotage that I can carry on the slinking straight to my meditation cushion to change my mind.

What's it like for you in the mornings? Are you a "Seize the Day!" kind of gal or guy? Or do you have to fight the "crazies" each morning too? I'd love to know.

Taking Care versus Caretaking

2010-06-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

Grief

A heaviness in the chest. A tiredness in the soul. It's as if I have been carrying around a "heavy" belief system, a burden of thinking and it has been magically lifted, taken away. In its place however there is a sense of void or a whole in my being. The chracteristic or belief, I'm not sure which this time, has been freed from my bondage of self. I am now experiencing the effects of this lack of protection, feeling the absence of protection. I am sensing a deeper vulnerability, a deeper humility and a deeper appreciation for my fellow human beings. I am feeling the fragility of the self.

As I say, I don't know what exactly has died, or been removed in order for me to be of greater use to humanity. I will say I have become so familiar with this feeling/experience of grief, I have had to befriend it so often over the years that I know the intimate smell of its sad-sweet perfume.

In the book Tuesdays with Morrie, the main character Morrie says something to the effect that any feeling one has, one should feel deeply. Feel it fully. Feel it for as long as it needs to be felt so that in future you will have no doubt to the exact feeling you are experiencing. We must come to not ony become aware of what we feel, but we need to then accurately name what it is we're feeling so as to communicate better to our fellow humans.

All of spiritual development is about loss and therefore grief. In this work it is never about what more we can grasp or hold or attain, rather it is about how much we can let go of, relinquish or release.

I now simply embrace the grief until it has finished carving out its desires shape within me. I am the clay, the Universal energy the sculptor.

2010-06-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

Gratitude

2010-06-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

It's been almost four months since I last blogged, but it's not been an uneventful time. I have been from Brisbane to Vancouver and back again. And today I am beginning anew. Again and again we begin. I have chosen to write on particular topics for awhile and I'm beginning with Gratitude. I am so open to receiving comments, suggestions on other topics and having a conversation in order to create community. I look forward to hearing about what you are thinking, reading, seeing and writing.

Again, Gratitude

Some people think that saying thank you is what gratitude is all about. But truly you can say thanks, and not feel grateful. How many times in your life have you felt that way? Someone buys you dinner, you thank them but are not grateful for the gift?

What is feeling grateful?

I believe it is a state of realizing that what one possesses or is presently experiencing has been a gift of some kind, rather than something one has had to toil to receive. Take our body or a sunrise as a case in point. What part in the creation of these things did we really have? Or the state of grace that happens when we get offered a job or when a friend calls or texts us out of the blue. That gift of someone thinking of us in kindness and reaching out towards us is something we did not create. Except perhaps energetically.

What I know about gratitude is that if I am grateful for something during the day, then I can't be in a bad mood. I can't. If I'm filled with thanks for being alive then I can't be negative. If I'm in a really, really bad space then I pull out my pen and paper and I write the numbers from 1-20 down one side of the page. I then proceed to list every little thing, person or situation I can possibly be grateful for. I often being with the fact that I have 10 fingers and 10 toes.

Last year at this time I had a broken metacarpal bone in my left hand, the bone that joins the finger to the hand. I also had broken my ring and middle fingers in an accident. Life with only one hand is quite a bit different a life than with both. I flew internationally with this freshly broken hand and had to ask the flight attendants to do everything for me from putting my bag in the overhead compartment to cutting up my rubber chicken for dinner.

The best incident came when I needed my bottle of water opened mid flight. I leaned over my seat to the large, smiling bloke sitting behind me and motioned to my waterbottle. He had his head set on and simply smiled at me then gave me the thumbs up sign. He thought I was simply sharing my happiness at having water. Wouldn't that have been a beautiful enough exchange, except that was not what I was doing. I then had to show him my hand in the cast and he quickly got that I needed his help to open the snap on the bottle. Today I am extremely grateful to have use of all ten fingers. One simple task such as typing is much more pleasant and much easier with both hands healthy.

When one is in self pity, in self loathing, in misery, sadness, despression it feels like gratitude is a different country from where one is living. The trick I find is to lift the veil of feeling up just one notch from where I am and to feel for just a nano second relief. In that momentary relief from the negative emotion I can then allow the light to come in. With the warmth of the light I can then leverage to the next more positive state.

Play Time (Builds Confidence) at Moffat Beach

2010-02-14T01:13:00.000-08:00

Just home now from being away for 30 hours at a quaint yet beautiful beach along the west coast of Queensland, about an hour from our doorstep called Moffat Beach. A friend who has just moved up there graciously invited us anytime, and both Steve (my husband) and I were desperate to have a getaway prior to leaving for Canada in a few weeks.

So in the car we piled, Josh (my step-son), Steve and I at 7.30 a.m. on a Saturday morning because our friend started work at 9 and we needed to get the lay of the land before he ventured off. And what lovely accommodation it was! A three bedroom unit over looking a forest of lush palm trees, bamboo and other exotic plants. The beach at our doorstep and a pool outside our door.

We all watched on TV the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Vancouver, and I couldn't help but give commentary all the way through. My national pride was brimming over knowing that all of the world was focussing at the exact same moment on Vancouver. The highlight of the ceremonies was the music and watching all the musicians, some of whom I know personally, and watched their personal struggles, up on the World stage. Again, personal pride was bursting and I wasn't even performing!

Frockling in the lovely swimming pool, bathing like a baby in the arms of the Mother Ocean today, having a most enjoyable dinner with our friend, celebrating his 29th Sober Birthday with him, all part of the magic and relaxation of being away.

It's extremely important to build play time into one's life. We all get so caught up in the day to day grind, the goal setting, the striving, the completion of our lists, of our tasks and slowly our battery and ventually our entire tank becomes depleted. Even if we're daily meditating and talking and praying with our higher powers, we all need a break, a real break from our human everyday life.

Did you know that when kids play they are actually building their self confidence and self esteem? That play also builds social and communication skills? And those of us who didn't play enough or were preoccupied when we were playing, as adults often lack self esteem and confidence. Take time out to be with your child self and enjoy! Enjoy the ocean, the wind, the trees. It does our spirit and soul a world of good; we get out of our rational minds and back into our intuitive and creative right brains where true joy resides!

Step One Still

2010-02-10T23:11:00.000-08:00

The first step is usually about Powerlessness and Unmanageability. Well these past few weeks, since first signing up to create this Blog, it has all been about how powerless I am in life and sometimes how unmanagemable my mind can get!

I am in the throes of returning to Canada from Bribane, where I've been for the last 6 months. The launching of my business Diamond Thought here in Australia has been simultaneously challenging and rewarding. There's just so much to do! And this is where the powerlesness part comes in. Life always happens when we're making plans...

When I first arrived I had one intention in mind: to begin spiritually advising and counselling folks around issues of alcohol and addiction, teaching meditation and doing writing and editing on a number of books that I've written. Well I think I've begun to slowly build a client base at Sowelu Clinic and my Meditation Classes on Wednesday nights have turned out to be a highlight of my week. The writing has been where I feel most powerless!

I have pulled out a piece from the book I've been working on these past few years: The Blaffled Queen (working title) and edited it to publish a very limited run for the community. It's just getting the time to do a final edit, and then press PRINT to get it out of my computer and onto the streets.

I come from a tradition of almost guerilla publishing where we used to print, what are called in Poetry circles, a Broadsheet. I am hoping to weekly publish a Broadsheet of my writing, excerpted from The Baffled Queen and pass it out at Bookstores, Cafes and at the Clinic so folks can red first hand a short snippet from the book.

The road is never straight ahead. It twists and turns and we have to move and bend with it.

The clients I've been seeing with their addiction and attachment issues never cease to amaze me with their courage and tenancity. That's one thing I can say for alcoholics or addicts of any kind. When we set our minds to do something, we go whole hog, or not at all. And thus it is as well for recovery. Seeing the light of realization go on in people that I am helping has to be the single most gratifying experience of my work. Watching the face of someone who has an A-HA moment after I've explained what might be going on for them is so exhilirating I can't even begin to describe it. Witnessing the transformation of consciousness from darkness to light is what I feel I was brought to earth to facillitate. And what joy it brings to me!

I'll be putting out my newsletter later today and I'm hoping the blog link to this blog will help stir up someone!

My intention with the blog is to, as frequently as possible, speak about what is going on in Diamond Thought's life - what new developments are happing with spiritual counselling, Meditation Classes, retreat/workshops and books and publishing. I hope to give my p.o.v. on what's occurring in the recovery communities in Oz and Canada and talk about some of the similarities and differences I'm noticing.

As I said I'll be transitioning back over to Canada for the months of March and April and I'll be back in Brisbane in May.

The First Step

2010-01-19T05:04:00.000-08:00

Well tonight is the first step of a thousand on this Blog Journey that so many before me have embarked upon. I now willingly surrender my procrastination to write, and hope that this new vehicle will help me show up to the page. I leave it at that tonight.